Social anxiety and alcohol are a common combination, but they can lead to some destructive patterns that ultimately hurt us in the long-term.
For many with social anxiety, alcohol can be an effective way to diminish their nervousness and inhibitions, making it easier to socialize with others. There’s an obvious reason alcohol is called a “social lubricant.”
At the same time, using alcohol to overcome your social anxiety is a bad idea from many different angles.
To start, using alcohol to decrease symptoms of social anxiety is more of a bandaid than an actual treatment of the core issues. Sure, it may make you more sociable and likable in the moment, but it’s not teaching you the necessary skills to become a more sociable and likable person overall.
Drinking alcohol also isn’t appropriate for all social interactions. Yes, it may help on a weekend night out at a bar or music show, but what about at work? At school? Running errands? You can’t realistically drink before every social interaction – or at least not without developing a huge substance abuse problem.
Interestingly, a recent study published in Personality and Individual Differences looked at the relationship between drinking, levels of shyness, and its effects.
Individuals who ranked high on shyness indeed reported less anxiety after drinking alcohol. However, this slight relaxation was replaced by a significant increase in anxiety the next day. Psychologists are calling this “hangxiety” (“hangover”
+ “anxiety”).
This shows that alcohol isn’t a long-term solution for overcoming social anxiety, and in-fact could make things worse. This is also why many people with anxiety disorders are more susceptible to developing symptoms of alcohol abuse.
Unfortunately, I can definitely relate to this. As someone who has struggled with social anxiety my entire life, I’ve definitely used alcohol as a way to become more sociable and less nervous.
In the moment, alcohol does make me a bit more sociable, likable, and funny. But it’s also led me to do some truly embarrassing stuff like saying things I shouldn’t say, making a fool of myself, and acting out-of-character.
For example, one time I worked up the courage to approach this girl at a bar and ended up saying something really crude to her. I won’t repeat it here and I’m certainly not proud of it, I’m just being honest. (I almost got beat up for it too).
And then I feel it the next morning.
Not just a typical “hangover,” but the feeling of “Wow, I really did some stupid stuff last night and now I feel really ashamed of myself.” Then I feel even more stressed out and socially anxious. This could be one contributing factor to “hangxiety.”
Why social anxiety and alcohol are a bad mix:
- Alcohol can give you a temporary boost in confidence, but it masks the underlying problems that cause social anxiety and shyness.
- Alcohol can make you act out-of-character and say or do things that you later regret and just give you more social anxiety.
- Alcohol causes “hangxiety” in individuals with severe shyness, making them even more anxious and stressed the next morning.
Overall I’m not against the occasional drink or two, but it’s important to remember that drinking isn’t a sustainable, long-term strategy for overcoming social anxiety.
If you suffer from social anxiety, pay close attention to your relationship with alcohol and make sure it’s not becoming an unhealthy crutch.
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