Principles are core beliefs that we try to adhere to on an everyday basis.
Many people view their principles as strict rules that should never be broken, one who goes against their principals is viewed as a “hypocrite,” a person who doesn’t follow what they actually say they believe.
However, I find principles work best when we view them as guidelines. In this way, our principles become a general rule of thumb, but something that we may have to break every now and then.
Breaking your principles isn’t always a sign of hypocrisy, it could just mean that your principles don’t apply within a particular situation and context. You cannot expect to discover a set of principles and think they will apply to every future situation in your life.
As we learn, grow, and experience new things, our principles will likely change along with us. Having a healthy and practical sense of flexibility in your principles is key toward maximizing how you respond to the world around you.
I find this concept of “breaking your principles” is described well in this short Zen story:
The Burden
Two monks were returning to the monastery in the evening.
It had rained and there were puddles of water on the road sides. At one place a beautiful young woman was standing unable to walk across because of a puddle of water. The elder of the two monks went up to a her lifted her and left her on the other side of the road, and continued his way to the monastery.
In the evening the younger monk came to the elder monk and said, “Sir, as monks, we cannot touch a woman?”
The elder monk answered “Yes, brother.”
Then the younger monk asks again, “But then sir, how is that you lifted that woman on the roadside?”
The elder monk smiled at him and told him, “I left her on the other side of the road, but you are still carrying her.”
In this situation, the elderly monk didn’t hesitate to break his principles nor did he feel guilty about it.
He was called upon to act a certain way in a certain situation, and he did the right thing because that’s what he interpreted to be the right thing in that precise moment.
Sometimes you know what the right thing to do is in a particular situation even if it goes against your principles – in those situations, don’t let your principles prohibit you from doing the right thing.
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