self-compassion


Self-compassion is one of the most important life skills. How often do you actively think kind thoughts about yourself? It could make a big difference in both your physical and mental health.


Self-compassion and kindness toward yourself is an essential factor in anyone’s happiness, mental health, and well-being.

According to a new study published in the journal Clinical Psychological Science, thinking kind thoughts about yourself is not only good for your mental health, but can actually affect you at a physical and biological level.

Researchers from the Universities of Exeter and Oxford separated participants into 5 different groups and had each listen to a different 11 minute audio recording. Some of these recordings focused on thinking kind thoughts about yourself, while others focused on something else.

Participants were placed into 5 different groups, each listening to a different recording:

  • Compassionate body scan – Participants were instructed to attend to bodily sensations with an attitude of curiosity, self-love, and calmness.
  • Self-focused loving kindness exercise – Participants were instructed to think kind and positive thoughts toward themselves and a loved one.
  • Positive excitement – Participants were instructed to think positive and motivating thoughts about themselves for the purpose of self-improvement and achieving goals.
  • Critical inner voice – Participants were instructed to think critical and negative thoughts about themselves, like focusing on flaws and weaknesses.
  • Neutral shopping scenario – Participants were instructed to think about a neutral shopping scenario, like buying groceries or running errands.

Researchers had every participant do a self-reported mood test and measured psychophysiological responses such as heart rate and sweat response during the exercise (which are ways of measuring the body’s stress levels).

It was discovered that both self-compassion exercises (the “compassionate body scan” and “self-focused loving kindness exercise”) led to increased feelings of positive emotion and connectedness with others.

At a biological level, those who did the self-compassion exercises were also shown to have a slower heart rate and low sweat response, indicating feelings of comfort, safety, and relaxation.

Those in the “positive excitement” condition also reported an elevation in mood and positive emotions, but did not show the same physiological response as those in the “self-compassion” groups.

And, as expected, those in the “critical inner voice” condition reported the greatest levels of stress indicated by a faster heart rate and higher sweat response, indicating feelings of discomfort, distress, and threat.

This is a small study, but it illustrates a very fundamental concept in psychology: how we think about ourselves has a big influence on both our physical and mental well-being.

It’s well-known that those susceptible to stress often risk other health conditions such as a weakened immune system and susceptibility to other illnesses and ailments.

This is why “stress management” plays such an important role in one’s physical and mental health.

Self-compassion teaches us to be kinder and gentler with ourselves. It shows us that we can love ourselves despite any shortcomings or flaws, and that’s a very powerful thing when it comes to living a happier and more satisfying life.


Make “Self-Compassion” A Part of Your Daily Routine

The participants in the study only listened to a short audio recording, but making “self-compassion” a part of your daily routine (or morning ritual) can help to build on these benefits in the long-term.

Here are healthy suggestions to make “self-compassion” a part of your everyday life:

  • Practice a self-love meditation – A simple self love meditation is a great way to boost positive feelings about yourself (this is similar to the “self-focused loving kindness exercise” practiced in the study). Feel free to send positive intentions toward another loved one as well.
  • Learn to love and appreciate your body – Having a healthy body image is another important aspect of self-love and self-compassion. Practice a naked meditation to become more accepting of your body (this is similar to the “compassionate body scan exercise” practiced in the study).
  • Give yourself a hug – One little thing you can do when you need to relax and love yourself more is to give yourself a quick hug. One interesting study shows that hugging yourself can actually reduce physical pain and stress.
  • Let go of your critical inner voice – We all have negative thoughts every now and then, but it’s important that we learn to accept them and let go of them without taking them too personally or clinging to them. Check out the power of cognitive defusion to help better manage your critical voice and not let it affect you.
  • Forgive yourself when you make mistakes – Self-compassion and self-love also means knowing when to forgive yourself when you make a mistake or let yourself down. We all make mistakes and we are all imperfect, so it’s important we accept our mistakes without beating ourselves up too badly.
  • Identify things you like about yourself – Take a moment to think of at least 2-3 traits about yourself that you really like. Think of examples in your life when you embodied these traits. For example, if you think of yourself as a “good listener,” try to remember a time when you helped someone out by listening to them in a non-judgmental way. It’s important that we have positive memories of ourselves that we don’t forget about.
  • Be kind to others – It’s easier to be kind to yourself when you also practice being kind to others, and vice versa. If we only practice kindness toward ourselves, then we will feel like a hypocrite when we end up always being mean and grumpy around others. Practice being kind to everyone, and it’ll be far easier to be kind to yourself as well.

All of these are great suggestions for how to integrate more self-compassion and kindness toward yourself into your everyday life.

In many ways, self-compassion and thinking kind thoughts about yourself may be the most important skill when it comes to your overall happiness and well-being. It’s a skill very much worth practicing and cultivating.

How kind and compassionate are you toward yourself? Is it something you need to work on more? Today is a good day to begin loving yourself.


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