When someone goes to see a therapist or coach, they are often looking for someone who is an outside listener whom they can share all their thoughts and feelings with – without the fear of being judged.
When someone goes to see a therapist, what they are often looking for is someone who is an objective, outside listener who they can share all their thoughts and feelings with, without the fear of being judged.
An objective therapist tries their best to deal with the facts or conditions that the patient is reporting, with as little distortion as possible from their own personal feelings, prejudices, or interpretations.
Fundamentally, this includes a therapist not influencing or pressuring certain beliefs, but instead giving patients a way to talk about their beliefs and encourage self-analysis through conversation.
There are 5 main components that make an objective therapist:
- They listen a lot. An objective therapist spends 80-90% of their time listening. They are there primarily to absorb information about the other person and their worldview, not share their own thoughts and feelings.
- They report the facts. When an objective therapist does speak, most of the time it’s a non-biased reiteration of the facts. “Okay…so X happened, then Y happened, then Z happened.”
- They ask questions. An objective therapist asks a lot of investigative and relevant questions. Their goal is to understand as much about the person’s situation as possible, without making judgments of “good” and “bad.” However, they need to be super careful to avoid wording these questions in misleading ways.
- They make it clear when sharing an opinion. When an objective therapist does share their opinion, they always preface it and let the patient know they are just sharing an opinion. At most, they may give a suggestion to the patient, but they will never say “You absolutely NEED to do this.”
- They are aware of their own biases. An objective therapist is honest with themselves. They realize that everyone has certain biases and no one’s thinking is perfect. An objective therapist has tremendous self-awareness and uses that as a way to monitor their own biases if they happen to seep through in the conversation.
These are the key attributes of a person that I would consider an “objective therapist.”
Of course, no therapist is going to be perfect, but if a therapist takes these guidelines seriously then they can become a tremendous asset in encouraging self-analysis in their patients.
In many ways, a therapist can never provide answers to their clients. They can only facilitate a dialogue where the client discovers an answer or insight for themselves.
Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement: