The Art of Taking a Step Back

When something happens to us in life, our instinct is often to immediately take action and respond to it.

Make a mistake at work? Slam the desk. Someone pisses you off? Snap back at them. Want that slice of cake? Grab it and take a bite. Someone cuts you off while driving? Honk your horn and throw up the middle finger.

React. React. React.

Life is one continuous cycle between things happening to us and us responding to them – and often we aren’t even aware of these automatic reactions until they’ve happened.

However, sometimes the best response is no response; especially in a heated moment our first impulse isn’t always the most healthy one. Often it’s better to take a step back and wait before you make a final decision.

But our current society trains us to be hyper-reactive.

At any given moment, we can get whatever we want whenever we want it, whether it’s streaming our favorite movie or TV show, buying a new product online with one click, or sending out a message instantly to hundreds of people through social media.

Thus, we’ve become addicted to instant gratification. Why wait for anything when you can get an instant reward right away? Act now, act now, act now!

In such a world, we have forgotten the life-changing art of taking a “step back.”

To take a “step back” simply means to give yourself time and space to be patient. Instead of reacting impulsively, wait for the dust to settle before making a choice or moving forward.

Here are the core reasons why taking a “step back” can be so powerful…

A step back allows you to cool down intense emotions

Our “emotional brains” often react much faster than our “thinking brains.”

So when we feel intense emotions, it’s often difficult to think clearly in the moment – and that’s when our emotions can override our better judgment.

Worst of all, the hot/cold empathy gap shows that we are often bad at predicting how we will act in a highly-charged emotional situation until we are experiencing it first-hand. We all have a type of “Jekyll and Hyde” dual-personality living inside us, and who comes out can largely depend on our emotional state.

When you are super angry, upset, or frustrated at a situation, you’re going to respond to it very differently than if you were in a calmer state of mind. You may even look back on some of those impulsive, emotional reactions and say, “What was I thinking?” (Often times, you probably weren’t thinking, because your emotions had already taken over the driver’s seat).

When you are experiencing intense emotions, often taking a “step back” is the best way to cool them down, ground yourself, and come to your senses.

In this case, a “step back” could mean excusing yourself to go into the other room, going for a short walk, spending time in nature, sleeping on a problem, or even just reminding yourself to take 10 deep breaths.

Anything that creates a gap between your emotions and your actions is essential for being more rational and responding to your emotions in a healthier and more constructive way.

The more time you can buy between your emotions and your responses, the more level-headed you’ll be when it’s time to finally act.

A step back allows you to re-direct your current path

If you are walking through nature and you find yourself going down a wrong path, sometimes you need to take a literal step back to correct yourself.

While it may feel frustrating or painful to take this “step back” and admit you made a mistake, it’s certainly better than continuing to go the wrong way. Right?

Metaphorically, taking a “step back” can help us re-direct the paths we choose in life as well, whether it’s in our career, relationships, health, habits, or personal goals.

The ability to take a “step back” actually gives us freedom. It means we aren’t chained to our current choices in life, and we have the power to reevaluate and make a change or adjustment.

Sometimes it means taking a break from a relationship, or taking a break from your career, or even quitting goals when they no longer serve your values and interests.

Instead of blindly moving forward, it’s important for us to “step back” and reflect on how our life choices are working out in the long-term and if they are something we should stick to or not.

Ask yourself, “If I continue down my current path, where will I be one year from now, or five years from now, or ten years from now?” If you don’t like the answer, then it may be time to make a serious change.

Give yourself time to press pause every now and then to evaluate the complete picture behind your life and put everything into perspective.

Ultimately, taking a step back is often necessary before you can step forward with more confidence and strength.

A step back allows you to slow down and enjoy the view

The ability to “step back” is also essential for our happiness and well-being.

When you are constantly moving forward and you’re always looking toward the next thing you want (new stuff, new pleasures, new sensations), it can be difficult to find time to just relax and be grateful for everything you already have in life.

Every now and then, you need to give yourself permission to just stop and enjoy the view.

The point of hiking up a mountain isn’t just to get to the top, but to enjoy the experience along the way.

Take a moment to sit down and reflect on all the good things in life:

• Reflect on positive memories and good times from your past.
• Identify things you are grateful for in life (family, friends, work, food, clothes, shelter, etc.)
• Meditate and enjoy the experience of being conscious and alive.
• Spend more time appreciating your body through exercise, mindful stretching, or a progressive muscle relaxation.
• Appreciate everyday occurrences of nature, beauty, wonder, and awe – like watching a beautiful sunset or gazing at the stars.
• Enjoy leisure time with family, friends, and loved ones (do a group activity such as playing a game, going out to a restaurant, or traveling together).

We end up missing out on a lot in life when we aren’t paying attention to what is right in front of us. Taking a “step back” is required for us to find comfort, relaxation, and happiness in the present moment.

If you’re always moving forward, you’ll miss all the happiness that is available to you right now. You’ll always be searching for it “somewhere else,” outside of you – or in some hypothetical future.

We all need to find a balance in life between “moving forward” and “taking a step back.”

While it’s important for us to push ourselves and be ambitious, it’s equally important that we find time to just sit and be happy. We need to make time for both to be happy, successful, and healthy individuals.

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