Self improvement is the study and practice of improving any aspect of one’s life, including one’s health, education, relationships, career, goals, and well-being.
How can I be happier? How can I be healthier? How can I improve my relationships? How can I make better choices in life?
These are age-old questions. Since humans first became conscious, we’ve been in pursuit of happiness, success, and well-being; and throughout our written history we’ve learned a lot about the different ways we can improve our lives.
Self improvement is influenced by a wide-range of different schools of thoughts, including old philosophies such as Stoicism, Buddhism, and Existentialism, as well as modern scientific disciplines such as Psychology and Neuroscience.
Today many concepts and theories in self-improvement are tested scientifically in domains of Clinical Psychology (especially therapies like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy), as well as research in Positive Psychology, Cognitive Psychology, and Social Psychology.
Self improvement has never been more popular or alive than it is today – and there’s no better time than right now to start learning about it.
The Emotion Machine is dedicated to all aspects of self-improvement in the 21st century. I first started writing articles back in June 2009, and I plan to continue building off of these materials for the rest of my life.
The science behind modern psychology and neuroscience has only improved our understanding of self-improvement and it continues to grow every single day. We now have more resources and information available than ever before to learn how to live a better and happier life.
It’s time to start thinking more from a self-improvement perspective. Those who don’t learn these principles and tools will eventually be out-competed by those who do.
The 10 Commandments of Self Improvement
While there are many aspects to self improvement, it can often be summarized in terms of its core principles.
Anyone that embarks on a journey of self improvement will eventually learn certain beliefs and attitudes that contribute to their motivation and success.
Here’s a list of my “10 Commandments of Self-Improvement.”
Many of these commandments are non-negotiable from a self-improvement standpoint. We all need to add them into our “map of reality” if we want to take our lives to the next level.
You may not agree with all of these right away. For now, just read them and reflect on them.
1. You have a choice
No matter how trapped you feel right now, recognize that you have a choice in how you move forward.
In fact, we often have more choices available to us than we realize in any given moment; but we’re so conditioned to make the same choices over and over that we forget we have this freedom to choose.
When it comes to simple things like what to eat or what music to listen to, we stick with what is familiar – and that stops growth and exploration of all the other possibilities that life has to offer us.
Our perception of limited choice not only stops us from discovering good music, but also discovering the good life.
When it comes to self-improvement, you have to at least be open to the idea of new choices and new possibilities.
2. Define what you want
Many people go through life aimlessly without a clear destination in mind; as a result, they often feel a lack of purpose and direction.
It’s important to be able to identify your core values, goals, and priorities in life if you want to achieve them. We shouldn’t just work hard, but work hard on the things that matter most to us.
Sometimes this means questioning values that you’ve learned from others or society as a whole. The blueprint of “go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, retire” works for some people, but it doesn’t necessarily work for everyone.
Defining what you want sometimes means going against the grain of society, but you have to first know what you really want.
The “five whys” exercise is one great method for digging deeper into why you do the things you do – and what’s really motivating you in life.
Values can also change as you grow older, so it’s important to reflect on your values and reevaluate them to make sure you’re still focusing on what really matters to you.
3. You are dynamic and changing
You are always changing day-by-day, month-by-month, and year-by-year.
Your idea of a “self” isn’t some fixed entity that remains static and unchanged, like a rock or inanimate object, but instead it’s a dynamic process that is continuously unfolding.
Embracing this dynamic self is essential to self-growth.
If you zoom out and look at the complete picture of your life, you’ll often find that you’ve changed in many small and large ways over the past year, or five years, or ten years. Often it isn’t until you look back that you discover how much things have gradually changed over-time.
Change happens whether you’re actively participating in it or not.
The mantra “this too shall pass” is a fundamental law of reality, but it can work in our favor.
Self improvement simply means playing a more active role in your self-change and self-development – embracing the natural course of change and finding new ways to direct it.
Who you are right now won’t necessarily be the same person in one year, five years, or ten years, so why not take more power over who your future self becomes?
4. Your words matter
The words we choose to use can often paint our reality in very different ways.
One of the first big lessons I learned in self improvement was to pay more attention to my words and the language I use on a daily basis. This included the words I use when talking with others, but also the words I used when engaging in self-talk.
This is a major theme in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, which teaches us how to see ourselves and our lives differently by reframing our beliefs in a more healthy and constructive way.
I’ve noticed even the smallest changes in language can make a big difference, such as using the word “yet” when discussing things in life I haven’t achieved or accomplished…yet; or using adjectives like “kind of” or “a bit” when downplaying negativity.
If you want to change your mindset, you should start by finding new words.
5. Your habits matter
Changing your mindset is important, but you have to change your habits and behaviors as well if you want to see real change in life.
As the popular saying goes, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”
Self improvement means building new and better habits that better serve you and your goals, as well as getting rid of old and unhealthy habits.
You can start by creating an outline of your daily routine and reflecting on it. What’s your best habit? What’s your worst habit?
What’s one small change you can make today to move in the right direction, even if it’s just 10 minutes of exercise or 10 minutes of writing?
Whether you want to change your health, your career, your relationships, or any of the 6 aspects of a balanced person, you’re going to need to experiment with new habits and find what works best for you.
6. Your relationships matter
Self improvement shouldn’t be confused with being self-centered or doing everything completely on your own.
No man is an island. We are tightly interconnected with our environment and the people we interact with on a daily basis.
You can be the most motivated person in the world, but if you’re surrounded by negative people it’s going to have a negative effect on you. Emotions are contagious, so we need the right people in our lives who bring out the best in us. This includes people you interact with online in your “digital world” too.
Similarly, self improvement means knowing when to ask for help and support from others.
Knowing when to ask for help is a strength, not a weakness. A supportive and helpful friend can make you a better person at the end of the day – and that’s something to embrace, not something to be ashamed about.
There’s a reason every “award acceptance” speech is a list of people to thank, because truly successful people know they couldn’t have done it all on their own.
7. The present is your place of power
Every conscious decision we make and every action we do unfolds in the present moment.
The more attuned you are to the present and the choices you have in any given situation, the greater control you have over your day-to-day actions.
Your daily awareness can be improved through a simple breathing meditation, or grounding exercises, or reminding yourself to take a step back and be more mindful of your daily actions and choices.
The easier it is to bring yourself to the present moment, the more power you’ll have over your daily life.
But if your mind is always wandering into the past, or future, or a hypothetical scenario, then you’ll strip away your power to make a change right now.
Yesterday is over. Tomorrow is yet to come. But today is where you have the power to act and decide.
The power of the present moment is a fundamental truth we must accept if we want to make real changes in our lives. Otherwise we’ll always be living in the imaginary or hypothetical. Nothing is more real than right now.
8. You must endure temporary pain and discomfort
Self improvement is not easy. It often requires effort, time, pain, and discomfort.
When you try something new and challenging, you have to be willing to fail and suck for a little while before you get good at it.
This never feels good, but it’s a part of growth. All self improvement comes with “growing pains” and awkward phases – you’re not going to magically find comfort and success over-night.
When you want to give up, remind yourself: in the short-term, it’ll suck; but in the long-term, it’ll be worth it.
Not everyone enjoys changing themselves, but the smart ones endure it because they know they will come out better at the end of the day.
Put in the hard work now to make life easier in the future.
9. Learn from the past
While we can’t change our past, it’s one of the most valuable resources we have to look back on and learn from.
By reflecting on past mistakes and past failures, we can try to see the error in our ways and adjust course for the future.
“Maybe I could’ve been a littler nicer,” or “Maybe I could’ve done this differently” are important stepping stones toward becoming a better person.
If you’re 100% honest with yourself, you can always find things you could’ve done a little better. Don’t beat yourself up over it, just learn from it and move forward.
Of course, the past isn’t all bad either. It can also be a great source of motivation and inspiration.
There’s a huge power in re-visiting positive memories to boost your mood and energy levels, especially reflecting on past accomplishments or success stories.
We tend to reflect more on negative memories than positive memories, so it’s important to take a step back and remind yourself you can be pretty awesome sometimes.
10. Be optimistic about the future
No matter what we must have some sense of optimism and hope for the future.
At first it may seem tough to believe in, but being open to the idea of a better and happier future will make it more likely to become a reality.
We don’t always know what the future may bring, but we can remain optimistic that things will work out in one way or another, even if we don’t know exactly how.
In many ways, optimism is a prerequisite to taking action and risks in life. If you don’t believe in a better future, you will only be left thinking, “There’s no point. I’m not even going to try!”
Whether you believe you can or you can’t, your belief helps create that fact – like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You have to believe in the future before you can start building it.
These are essential principles behind all self-improvement.
I call them “commandments” because that makes them sound more powerful to me (your words matter), but you could just as easily call them “principles” or “guidelines” if that sounds better to you.
If you’re completely new to self improvement, keep these ideas in mind for now – soon they will become more ingrained into your natural way of thinking (especially if you follow this website).
Self improvement is not something that can be learned and absorbed over night. It’s a never-ending process.
Our lives are always changing and we must continue to adapt if we want to be our best self. There is always progress to be made if we are open to it.
Anyone can be interested in self improvement ––– but not everyone is. For some people, it’s easier to blame the world for their problems than to take responsibility over themselves and their future.
As always, the choice is yours to make.
Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement: