What you perceive as a “weakness” of yours can be a “strength” in disguise. Here are 30 positive reframes of different personality traits and characteristics. Which apply to you?
The single most important attribute in cultivating happiness and success in your life is your ability to create positive reframes.
A positive reframe is taking a situation and trying to find something good in it. It’s incredibly simple in theory, but it can be very difficult to practice.
Two people can have the same exact experience but walk away from it with a completely different perspective and interpretation of the facts. This is the power of reframing.
This article shares 30 positive reframes when it comes to both yourself and others. It takes a characteristic that is usually seen as “negative” and then twists it to make it more “positive.”
Interestingly, a new study has discovered that reframing a negative personality trait can lead to positive results.
For example, individuals who were told that their “impulsivity” was a sign of “creativity,” ended up performing better on creative tasks than individuals who weren’t told this. This shows how looking at our personality traits in a new way can lead to new behaviors.
Try to think of the list below as a resource to help you think more positively. It won’t make you a master of positive reframes, but it is a great starting point to get you thinking in a different direction about yourself.
Before I share my list, I want to first explain the “virtue continuum,” which shares a fundamental insight about the intimate relationship between “virtues” and “vices.” It highlights our need for a more balanced perspective.
The Virtue Continuum
A virtue is a positive trait or quality that is deemed “morally good” and beneficial.
While many great thinkers and philosophers have debated what “virtue” really is, the “virtue continuum” is my favorite representation of how “virtue” really works.
Here’s the “virtue continuum” as proposed by university professor Jim Lanctot:
The main lesson is that different “virtues” can become negative when we have too much or too little of them.
For example, “humility” is a great trait to have – but too much of it becomes “degradation” and “self-hating,” while too little of it becomes “pride” and “ego.”
“Virtue” is about finding a balance with these healthy instincts. The “virtue continuum” reveals that every personality trait is ultimately on a spectrum.
This is an important idea to keep in mind while we explore “positive reframes,” because what you perceive as a “negative trait” may just be too much or too little of a good thing.
Keep this essential idea in mind as we explore reframing.
Negative Frame → Positive Frame
Here are 30 examples of a perceived “negative trait” being reframed as a “positive trait.”
Keep in mind, these reframes don’t mean that you’re perfect or that you have no flaws. The essential lesson is that you could just be doing “too much” of a good thing. You’ll still have to change and adjust though.
Here’s my list:
Argumentative → Truth-seeking – The unhealthy desire to argue with everyone and correct people is often driven by the healthy desire to discover the truth and educate people.
Bossy → Good director / Natural leader – The unhealthy desire to boss people around and tell them what to do is often driven by the healthy desire to lead others and keep a group focused and organized.
Clingy → Affectionate – The unhealthy desire to always be with someone and crave their attention is often driven by the healthy desire to be loving and affection (just remember to give people space).
Cold/Calculating → Rational – The unhealthy desire to always be cold and calculating is often driven by the healthy desire to be rational and not let emotions override your better judgment.
Compulsive → Efficient / Attention to detail – The unhealthy desire to be compulsive and perfectionist is often driven by the healthy desire to be efficient and pay attention to details.
Conceited → Confident / Protect self – The unhealthy desire to be conceited and arrogant is often driven by the healthy desire to be confident and protect yourself.
Crabby/Complaining → Communicates needs – The unhealthy desire to always complain and nitpick is often driven by the healthy desire to communicate one’s needs and values (although it’s important to communicate your feelings in a healthy and constructive way).
Dawdles → Easy-going – The unhealthy desire to dawdle and be lazy is often driven by the healthy desire to be easy-going and relax.
Defiant → Strong beliefs / Courageous – The unhealthy desire to always rebel and be defiant is often driven by the healthy desire to defend one’s strong beliefs and be courageous in the face of majority opinion.
Demanding → Assertive – The unhealthy desire to always demand and ask things from others is often driven by the healthy desire of knowing what you want and being assertive about it.
Dependent → Connected – The unhealthy desire to always be around others and depend on them for happiness is often driven by the healthy desire to be connected and social (just don’t forget the value of solitude).
Doodles/Daydreaming → Creative – The unhealthy desire to daydream and drift off in one’s mind is often driven by the healthy desire to use one’s imagination and be creative.
Dramatic → Emotionally aware / Expressive – The unhealthy desire to be dramatic and overreactive is often driven by the healthy desire to be more “emotionally aware” and expressive about one’s thoughts and feelings.
Fearful → Cautious / Careful – The unhealthy desire to always be afraid and run away from things that make us uncomfortable is often driven by the healthy desire to be cautious and not take unnecessary risks.
Foolish → Fun loving – The unhealthy desire to be foolish or stupid can often be driven by the healthy desire to be playful and fun-loving.
Fussy → Specific tastes / Strong sense of self – The unhealthy desire to be very fussy and picky is often driven by the healthy desire of understanding one’s specific tastes and having a strong sense of “self.”
Impulsive → Spontaneous / Explorative – The unhealthy desire to be impulsive and seek new thrills is often driven by the healthy desire to be spontaneous and explore more of life (one great way to channel this is through positive thrill-seeking).
Loner → Self-Knowledge – The unhealthy desire to always be a loner and disconnect from society is often driven by the healthy desire to discover oneself and gain self-knowledge.
Loud → Charismatic / Confident – The unhealthy desire to be loud and boisterous is often driven by the healthy desire to be charismatic, outgoing, and confident.
Manipulative → Good Communicator / Persuasive – The unhealthy desire to manipulate others and get what you want from them is often driven by the healthy desire to be a good communicator and persuade people to a certain idea (as long as you are being honest and open with them).
Mean → Defensive/Protective – The unhealthy desire to be mean or callous to others is often driven by the healthy desire to defend oneself and be protective so that you don’t get hurt.
Messy → Open-minded / Easy-going – The unhealthy desire to be messy and disorganized is often driven by the healthy desire of being open-minded, tolerant, and easy-going.
Naughty → Independent / Exploring boundaries – The unhealthy desire to always be bad, naughty, or break social norms is often driven by the healthy desire to find independence and explore one’s boundaries and limitations in life.
Nosey → Curious / Inquisitive – The unhealthy desire to be nosey about other people’s business is often driven by the healthy desire to be curious and inquisitive about life.
Quiet → Thoughtful / Reflective – The unhealthy desire to be quiet and not speak your mind around others is often driven by the healthy desire to be thoughtful and reflective.
Rigid → Organized / Systematic – The unhealthy desire to be strict and rigid is often driven by the healthy desire to be organized and systematic.
Shy → Introspective / Respectful of boundaries – The unhealthy desire to be shy and self-conscious is often driven by the healthy desire to be introspective and respectful of people’s boundaries (but don’t forget you have the right to take up space just like everyone else).
Silly/Embarrassing → Good sense of humor – The unhealthy desire to be extremely silly and embarrassing is often driven by the healthy desire to have a good sense of humor and enjoy life more.
Stubborn → Determined / Persistent – The unhealthy desire to be stubborn and unyielding can often be driven by the healthy desire to be determined and persistent toward one’s goals and ambitions (but its still important to know when to quit).
Zealous/Dogmatic → Passionate / Cares Deeply – The unhealthy desire to be zealous, ideological, or dogmatic is often driven by the healthy desire to be passionate and care deeply about the state of the world.
These are only suggestions on how you can transform a perceived “negative” trait into a “positive” trait. Hopefully reading through this list provides some ideas for the types of things you can reframe in your daily life.
When it comes to reframing, the possibilities are endless; but you have to first be open to a more positive perspective of yourself. This includes being 100% honest with yourself, while also acknowledging that many of your “weaknesses” and “imperfections” actually come from a good place.
You can reframe the “negative traits” of others too by also acknowledging that they are usually coming from a good place, even if they are misguided about it.
Keep in mind, looking at life through a positive reframe doesn’t mean you ignore the stress, pain, and suffering in life, but it does help you deal with these problems more efficiently by seeing them in a different light that reveals new pathways for growth and improvement.
The better you are at viewing life through a positive reframe – including yourself, others, and life in general – the more happiness and success you’ll find.
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