How to Change Your Relationship with Stuff: Recognizing There’s More to Life Than Material Things

What’s your relationship with stuff like?

Are you someone who is always seeking more things – whether it be a new car, new phone, new TV, new video games, or new clothes? Do you find it hard to just be happy and content with what you have?

You’re not alone. In much of today’s culture, we are told to glorify our possessions and material goods. And the more we have, the more “successful” we think we are.

This idea that “more stuff = more success” didn’t come out of nowhere. According to Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things, our materialistic culture started at the beginning of industrialization and automation when we began to see a huge boom in commercial goods and nation-wide wealth.

In much of the Western world, we have an abundance of stuff. We have more products available to us at cheaper prices than ever before – and this can be a huge blessing, but also a huge curse.

Nowadays corporations bombard us with countless commercials and advertisements telling us that we need their new products and services to be truly happy. Every year there’s a new gadget that becomes the next fad – and we all want to have that gadget so that we don’t feel like we’re missing out.

This material abundance has fed into the whole “keeping up with the Joneses” mindset, which is when we constantly compare our fortunes with that of our neighbors – and we’re always trying to “one up” our neighbors by getting the next best thing before they do.

This materialistic mindset can be very unhealthy. It teaches us that material goods are the only real measure of happiness and success, and that can often distract us from other areas in our lives that are much more important.

As a kid, I’m not afraid to admit that I grew up a bit spoiled. My parents were very fortunate and they would often get me the newest toys and gadgets for holidays and birthdays.

I remember my relationship with stuff being very paradoxical at a young age. I would crave getting some new video game, but then when I finally got it I would quickly grow bored of it and want the next new thing.

This is the paradox of materialism – it creates an endless craving where we never become satisfied. As soon as we get what we want, we find something new to set our eyes upon. We are wired to be dissatisfied.

Can you relate to that feeling when you finally get something new and it immediately loses its appeal? It’s almost as if the seeking of these material goods is more important to us than the actual material goods themselves.

And this makes sense when you realize that a lot of our drive for material goods is based on how it affects our perceived social status. We end up seeking that new car not because we really want it, but because we can’t wait to show it off to our neighbors.

How to Change Your Relationship With Stuff

“I wish everyone could become rich and famous so they can realize it’s not the answer.”

Jim Carrey

Do you think you need to change your relationship with stuff? Here are valuable tips and guidelines to help get you started:

• Pay attention to your relationship with stuff – A good first step to take is to just simply step back and evaluate your current relationship with stuff. Do you crave buying new things a lot? Do you often go shopping on the weekends or engage in “retail therapy” to improve your mood? Look around your home: Do you think you own too much stuff?
• Focus on values outside of material things – One big theme throughout the documentary Minimalism is that our obsession with material goods often distract us from things in life that are more important, like taking care of our health, doing things that truly make us happy, or building on our relationships with actual people. If you place your “relationships with stuff” over your “relationships with people,” it may be time to reevaluate your values and priorities. Take this easy Materialism Quiz to measure your current relationship with stuff.
• Ask yourself, “Does this add value to my life?” – To create a more minimalist perspective, we should look at all of the things we own in our lives and ask ourselves if they are really serving a purpose or function. One valuable tip I share in Organized Home, Organized Mind is from Marie Kondo, who advises we pick up an object and ask ourselves, “Does this add joy?” If the answer is “no,” it might be an object worth getting rid of.
• Minimize your consumption of commercials and ads – Our culture often has a major influence over how we choose to our lives, so it’s important we remain mindful of the cultural messages we are consuming on a daily basis. If you watch a lot of TV and see a lot of commercials, or if you consume a lot of media that glorifies fame and wealth, those messages can often be changing your perspective and making you feel like material goods are more important than they really are. Try to find ways to avoid commercials by recording your favorite shows and skipping the commercials, or installing an adblocker on your web browser. It could make a big difference.
• Collect more experiences, not more stuff – One interesting discovery in recent psychology research is that buying experiences is better than buying stuff. While a new TV will eventually grow old and lose its novelty value, a new memory can stick with us forever and keep giving us joy. We can often enrich our lives more if we focus on collecting experiences rather than collecting stuff.
• Understand there’s more to happiness and success – The whole point of minimalism is to change your relationship with the stuff you own and realize that material possessions aren’t everything in your life. It doesn’t mean you need to get rid of ALL of your material possessions – that’s not practical nor desirable. If you have a book collection and it brings you joy, then by all means keep your book collection. Minimalism is more about changing your perspective about material things rather than trying to live alone in the woods with nothing but a backpack.

These are really great guidelines if you want to start to change your perspective about the material things in your life.

Over the years, I’ve become much less obsessed over material things than I was when I was younger. While I don’t consider myself a “minimalist” per se, there are a lot of valuable lessons we can learn from the minimalist movement that can improve our relationships with the stuff in our lives and improve our overall happiness.

Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things is a really great documentary if you’d like to learn more about the minimalist movement and what it can teach us. It follows minimalist experts like Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus as they travel the country teaching others “how to be happy with less.”

The film also includes a lot of great insight from a wide-range of professionals, including psychologist Rick Hanson, neuroscientist Sam Harris, sociologist Juliet B. Schor, blogger Leo Babauta, journalist Dan Harris, photographer Tammy Strobel, and many more.

It’s definitely worth checking out or recommending to friends who you think may benefit from a more minimalistic mindset.

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