How Social Media Creates FOMO: Be Mindful Of How You Spend Your Time Online

Social media plays a big role in most people’s lives. It’s difficult to find anyone who doesn’t at least have an account on one social media platform whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, or Snapchat.

But social media, and the internet in general, can be a double-edged sword.

The main benefits of social media are easy to see: it keeps us connected with old friends, allows us to meet new people, and it can be a wonderful source for learning new things, discovering entertaining videos or memes, and following the news.

At the same time, psychologists are learning more and more about the potential drawbacks of social media and how it can sometimes harm our mental health and well-being.

A recent study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology set up an experiment to see the direct effects of social media on our happiness. They instructed on group to limit their social media time to 10 minutes per day for each platform, and instructed another group to continue with their social media use as they normally do.

After 3 weeks, they had all the participants take a mental health survey to measure the effects of limiting social media use. And what they discovered was that the individuals who were asked to limit their time spent on social media showed significant reductions in symptoms of depression and loneliness.

Interestingly, they found that reduced symptoms of depression were most strong for those who already reported higher rates of depression.

While there are many studies that have established a correlation between social media use and poor mental health, this is the first study to identify a clear causal link between the two using an experimental design.

The researchers recommend that limiting your social media use to “approximately 30 minutes per day may lead to significant improvement in well-being.”

Of course, a big part of this may be how individuals use social media, but being more mindful of your social media use is at least a good step in the right direction. Find healthy ways to increase your “off screen” time, like spending more time in nature, exercising more, socializing more, meditating, or reading more books.

Ask yourself: What are some activities you could do more often in your life that don’t involve the internet, TV, or any type of screen time?

According to the researchers of the original study, social media can increase feelings of depression and loneliness by creating a feeling of FOMO (or a “fear of missing out”).

This idea is best encapsulated by the following quote, which is a great description of how most people use social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram:

When most people share things on social media, they naturally share things that make it look like they are living an awesome and exciting life. They share photos of themselves out partying with friends, going to fancy restaurants and weddings, or doing exciting things like traveling and skydiving.

If you go through most people’s social media, you’d think they are living their best life. And that’s what creates the feeling of FOMO (“fear of missing out”) in other people, who feel their lives can’t compare to all the positive things they see other people doing on social media.

Social media can distort our perception of people’s lives. We see all the “highlights” of people’s lives and all the fun things they are doing, but we rarely see the “behind-the-scenes” mundane stuff like going to work, doing chores, having stressful days, etc…the things that everyone goes through.

So when we try to judge people’s lives based on social media, we are only getting a small snippet of who they are – and typically it leans toward the “positive stuff” rather than the “negative stuff.”

People naturally want to make themselves look good to others. And social media gives people the opportunity to filter what information they want others to see to a degree we’ve never been able to do before.

One of the best examples of this is when it comes to taking selfies. Most people will only share photos of themselves that make them look good, even if it’s just choosing the right angle, lighting, or facial expression. Many people even use photo-editing software to make themselves look unrealistically attractive.

According to another new study published in the journal Body Image, researchers discovered that social media can often be linked to negative body images of oneself, especially in young women who are always looking at photos of other attractive women on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

Social comparison is one of the greatest killers of our happiness and well-being, and social media tends to take this phenomenon and put it on steroids.

This is very important lesson to keep in mind the next time you log-in to your social media. Is it ultimately helping your mental health or hurting your mental health?

However…Video Chat Can Be Good for Mental Health

In contrast to social media, one interesting new study found the opposite effect on depression for those who use video chat programs like Skype, Facetime, or Google Hangouts.

These platforms can actually serve a positive function for those with depression and loneliness, by allowing people to connect face-to-face with people from long distances (especially family and friends who you haven’t seen in awhile).

This particular study looked at socially isolated senior citizens and discovered that those who used programs like Skype and Facetime reported significantly less symptoms of depression than individuals who only used text-based communication programs like email, social media, or instant messaging.

The key difference is the “face-to-face” component, which makes programs like Skype feel more like a real world social interaction than platforms like Facebook or Twitter where you are only communicating through text. Perhaps these types of video platforms create conversations that feel more “real” and “genuine.”

Skype and Facetime also help us to avoid many of the dark sides of our “digital self” like anonymity and impulsivity, which often lead people to be more selfish and cruel to people on social media. When you’re face-to-face with someone, it’s a lot more difficult to be rude or say mean things like it is on Twitter or Facebook.

This is another reason why online therapy and coaching sessions through Skype can be a major benefit for many people. It’s a convenient way to have face-to-face interactions with people without having to leave your home.

I personally use video chat a lot for my self improvement coaching, so it’s nice to see some research that shows this platforms can be an effective way to reduce depression and loneliness, and can help boost people’s mental health and well-being.

Overall, we must be cautious of how we use the internet and social media. They can be wonderful tools to improve the quality of our lives, but they can also backfire on us if we don’t use them properly.

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