How you choose to label yourself becomes an intimate part of who you are.
Once you identify yourself with a particular group of people – whether it’s social, political, or religious – then you often begin to define the rest of your existence based on this label. You think, “I’m an X person, so that means I do things like A, B, C – because that’s what X people do.”
Labeling yourself as part of a group feels good – as it gives you an immediate sense of belonging and identity. But it also limits you in many ways.
It stops you from thinking for yourself
When you label yourself as part of a particular group, it gives you a “mental shortcut” on how you should think and behave.
Instead of thinking for yourself, all you need to do is copy what other members of your group are doing. As a result, labeling yourself can often lead to blind conformity.
When you don’t label yourself, it’s much easier to agree with a group when you agree with them, and disagree with a group when you disagree with them. You can create your own belief system instead of following someone else’s.
It makes you dislike other people for no reason
Another thing that happens when you label yourself is that you often develop an us vs. them mentality.
You develop a strong feeling of allegiance to the group you identify with, and you end up thinking less of people who aren’t in your “in-group.” Thinking of people in terms of groups often divides us and makes us more competitive.
When you don’t label yourself, you can often connect with people easier because you don’t have the superficial boundaries of “groups” to make you appear separate from anyone.
It limits who you become as a person
When you put a label on yourself, it limits how you view yourself.
As I mentioned before, when you start to think of yourself as an “X” person, then it influences you to act more like an “X” person. But often this label doesn’t fully account for just how dynamic and complex you really are as a person.
We have a multi-layered self that is influenced by many different factors: genes, environment, relationships, parenting, education, past experiences, beliefs, emotions, and habits.
Trying to fit all of these factors into one convenient label can often be very misleading, so no label can really do you justice in describing who you really are.
Be careful when you use labels
In everyday language, labels can be useful but we have to use them really carefully.
It sometimes makes sense to point someone out based on race, gender, religion, or whatever, but we should never confuse these labels to define another person.
For example, if I’m describing a friend of mine to someone else, and I point to someone across the room, it may be appropriate to say “He’s the Asian guy,” especially if he happens to be the only Asian in the group.
However, the main point here is that every individual is complicated and no one is exactly like anyone else.
While we may find many similarities between groups of people, we should always keep in mind that we can only truly know a person on an individual basis.
That means actually talking to people and interacting with them, not just putting a label on them based on appearance and then thinking we know more about them than we really do.
In the same way, when you don’t label yourself with a particular group, people have to actually get to know you rather than being able to form quick judgements.
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