“Radical sharing” is being willing to reveal your complete self to another person, including your deepest thoughts, feelings, memories, and ambitions.
One of the most common myths in self-improvement is that you have to do it all by yourself.
However, the truth is we often can’t be the best version of ourselves without the help of other people; even the simple power of connecting with a person on a deeper level and sharing ourselves with them is a crucial part of any healing process.
“Radical sharing” is being willing to reveal your complete self to another person, including your deepest thoughts, feelings, memories, and ambitions. It’s being completely honest and open about you and your story, without holding anything back.
It starts with radical acceptance, which is acknowledging all the good and bad in your life without trying to filter anything out or deceive yourself. This is a personal commitment.
Radical sharing is when you take that radical acceptance and you share it with someone else, preferably someone whom you trust, respect, and know will listen to you in a nonjudgmental way (such as a close friend, family member, or good therapist).
Radical sharing doesn’t mean sharing everything with everyone – or having no sense of boundaries around others. Choose your conversations wisely and be selective toward the people you choose to share with.
Often you only need ONE loyal, trustworthy, and kind person in your life to completely share yourself with. Just having that one person who understands you and “gets you” can make all the difference – and make you feel less alone in your struggles.
Here are tips and advice to help you practice “radical sharing” in your life.
Radical Sharing: Core Principles and Advice
- Choose your conversations wisely. Radical sharing requires people who are willing to listen to you in a nonjudgemental way and provide support when needed. Be careful who you open up to, as some untrustworthy or mean-spirited people can certainly use your past against you if they don’t have the right intentions. Make sure you only open up to those who you trust and respect.
- Share in a calm and peaceful setting. Your environment can have a big influence over your mood. When you decide to share something personal, try to choose a setting that promotes calm, peace, and reflection. Go for a walk through nature while having a deep conversation, or watch the sunset on a beach while talking about what really matters in your life, or find a private and quiet room to open up without distraction.
- One-on-one is often the best place to start. It’s usually easier to open up to just ONE person you trust rather than in a group setting. While support groups certainly have their place when it comes to “radical sharing,” try to first focus on just one-on-one conversations, even if it’s just a really close friend, family member, mentor, or therapist. Once you’ve shared your story with one person, then you can move on to sharing your story with a loyal and supportive group.
- Imperfections and vulnerabilities make you more human. We often believe we need to present a perfect version of ourselves to be liked, but new research shows that being open about your imperfections can actually make you more likable and attractive, because it shows others that you are “human” just like everyone else. Psychologists are calling this “the beautiful mess effect.”
- Don’t just broadcast your problems to everyone. Too many people associate “radical sharing” with just saying whatever comes to their mind whenever they want, with zero filter. With the internet and social media, people engage in a lot of over-sharing in the public sphere. We seem to have forgotten the importance of keeping some things private (or at least not broadcasting our problems to the entire world). Pay close attention to everything you share on social media.
- The power of online communities. The internet can still be a very valuable tool for “radical sharing.” Often it’s easier to connect with certain types of people online than in the real world, especially if it’s a very sensitive subject. Nowadays, there’s an online forum or message board for almost anything if you’re willing to find it. And if it’s a healthy community, you may be able to share some of your deep stories without fear of being judged. Also, the possibility of sharing anonymously can provide the necessary freedom and safety to truly tell your story to others.
- Don’t use negative emotions to manipulate others. When sharing your story, the only end-goal is to be accepted and listened to. If you’re talking about your problems to try to get some reward out of it, or change and manipulate someone’s behavior, then your sharing is coming from an unhealthy place. Learning how to express your feelings without becoming an emotional manipulator is important during any type of healing process.
- Journaling can be a proxy for sharing. If you still feel too uncomfortable to share yourself with anyone, you can always start by writing in a private journal. The act of writing can still confer many of the benefits of “sharing,” even if you are only “sharing” to an imaginary third party. Research shows the power of writing can have many psychological benefits, including helping people work through negative past experiences and trauma.
- Share all the good news too. “Radical sharing” doesn’t just have to be talking about your negative experiences, but also remembering to share all of your positive experiences too. Tell the full story. When something really good happens to you, make it a point to share the good news with others. Develop a bless the messenger mentality by remembering to share the good, positive, and funny stories with others too.
Conclusion
Of course, “radical sharing” is easier said than done – but it’s still essential for any type of self-healing or self-improvement.
For awhile, I tried to keep everything to myself because I thought I was smart enough to figure things out on my own. I was wrong. The more you are able to share and be open, the more you can digest your past and put your best foot forward.
Keep the above advice in mind, and try your best to slowly open yourself up more in a healthy and constructive way. You’ll come out of the process a better person.
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