Do you lash out at others or get angry a lot? Try giving a gentle “warning” to others when you are in a bad mood to avoid unnecessary hostility and conflict in your social interactions.
Often times when we lash out or get angry with someone, it’s not the other person’s fault – but our own.
We are ultimately responsible for how we respond to other people. When we are angry or frustrated and we take that out on someone else, that’s often due to our own mismanagement of our stress and emotions.
Of course it’s “easier said than done.” When you find yourself amped up and heated, it becomes increasingly more difficult to regulate your emotions and how you respond to people.
The emotional parts of our brain can often hijack the thinking parts of our brain. So when we are feeling intense emotions they can over-power our better judgment, and that’s what leads to us to respond to people in destructive and impulsive ways.
You’ve likely experienced this for yourself many times.
For example, have you ever had those days where you’re just way more sensitive and irritable than usual? Even the slightest word, action, or facial expression from someone else can trigger you into a state of anger, insecurity, or defensiveness?
You know you’re not acting rationally, but your feelings are so strong that you don’t care. In the moment, all you can think about is verbally attacking the other person.
It happens to the best of us. But that’s why we need to be super mindful of our underlying bad moods and how they manifest themselves in our daily speech and actions.
If you’re aware that you’re in a bad mood, then you can take active measures to regulate it. One powerful way to do that is to simply warn others that you’re in a bad mood before the interaction even begins.
This small and simple tip can prevent a world of trouble if you know how to use it wisely.
By letting people know that you’re in a bad mood, you give them a heads up that they should be a little more cautious around you. Hopefully, if they are smart and respectful, they will take that warning and try to adjust their behaviors a little.
This type of warning is especially helpful for loved ones, friends, or family, because they are generally not going to want to upset you or anger you, so they will be more likely to heed your advice and give you the time and space you need.
It can also be effective to warn coworkers or bosses about a bad mood too. It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic, just a simple, “Hey, I kinda had a rough morning, so try to go a little easy on me today.” or “Hey, I’m in a bad mood today, so I apologize in advance if I’m a bit grouchy.”
Of course, this method isn’t fool-proof. But even if you do fail and happen to snap at someone, you can always remind them, “Sorry, like I mentioned, I am in a bad mood today, it’s not your fault…”
A bad mood isn’t an excuse to be rude to someone, but it does give people a clearer understanding of why you may have said or done something. Most importantly, it tells people not to take what you do or say personally. “It’s me, not you.”
In fact, when someone says something rude or impolite to me, I often use the same line of reasoning in reverse: “They are just in a bad mood, it’s nothing to take personally.” (Check out 7 Things to Remind Yourself When Interacting With Difficult People).
One of the main lessons that has made me way kinder and gentler toward people (including myself) is recognizing all the factors that influence our behaviors that are outside of our control, including our environment, mood, and even simple things like being hungry or not getting enough sleep.
While we are responsible for our actions and choices in life, we have to recognize this is a constant uphill battle for most people. We say and do things that don’t truly reflect ourselves on a daily basis, because we are imperfect.
So the next time you’re in a really bad mood, try giving a warning to others and see if it helps the situation. It’s not always going to work, but it’s a good tip to keep in mind if you’re prone to getting angry or rude at others.
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