When you become more curious about people, you not only improve your relationships and ability to connect with them – you also become a more well-rounded person overall.
Being interested in everyone is a superpower when it comes to building a better social life.
One of the key things I’ve observed in every socially successful person is that they are genuinely curious about others. They are able to connect with any person in any room simply by becoming super interested in them and wanting to learn more about them.
Everyone has a unique story. Everyone has past experiences and knowledge to share. And everyone has strengths, talents, and interesting personality quirks. With this perspective, how can we not be interested in everyone?
Socially successful people have a drive to connect with everyone they cross paths with.
We pass by so many people on a daily basis, but we never think to reach out or try to connect with these people on a real level. However, there is nothing stopping us from initiating positive social interactions with anyone, no matter where are: on the train/bus, shopping for groceries, on vacation, walking to class, etc.
If there are people around you, then there is an opportunity for connection. Any stranger can become a potential acquaintance, friend, or even lover.
But don’t put too much pressure on yourself, even just simple “10 second relationships,” such as a friendly joke to the cashier, or a compliment to a stranger, or just a simply “How’s it going?” to your neighbor are a good start when it comes to strengthening your social muscles and ability to connect with everyone.
And people often appreciate these small interactions more than you think. We have an inherent desire to want to be social and like others. Ultimately, we want to feel that we belong where we are (whether it’s at home, work, or our local neighborhood).
In fact, psychologists have recently discovered that we often underestimate how much a person will like us when we first meet them. They are calling it the liking gap.
The comforting truth is most people in the world are pro-social: they want to like and be liked.
When you are genuinely interested in people, they notice and they appreciate it. They feel like what they think, say, and do matters, and they feel valued and better about themselves because of your attention.
And when people feel that you are genuinely interested in them, they will reciprocate that interest and positive energy back to you.
Ask a person for their name, they will often ask for yours. Ask a question, and they will often follow with one of their own. And thus the seeds of a potential relationship are sown and it takes no more than a minute out of your day.
With this in mind, we should try to build a healthy instinct to be more social.
This is especially true if you are someone who tends to be more shy, or introverted, or reserved – or just tends to keep to themselves when around others. Start with super small interactions to get your social muscles working.
I’m not a naturally social person, so this “Be Interested in Everyone”-mindset is something I’ve been trying to cultivate more in my own life.
Today, I aim to maximize every social opportunity to the best of my ability. Because you never know where it might lead you. New friends. New dating opportunities. New job opportunities. New life opportunities.
The next person you connect with could be the beginning of the next chapter in your life.
Be Interested in Everyone: Curiosity is a Superpower
When I say “be interested in everyone,” I’m not saying you have to necessarily be friends with everyone. That wouldn’t be practical.
I understand that people can be really different and not everyone is going to naturally mesh together with everyone.
However, I think it is a false and limiting belief to think that you can’t find something interesting about a particular person. The more I get to know someone, the more interesting they tend to become.
Curiosity is a superpower when it comes to self-improvement in general, but it’s especially helpful when it comes to building better relationships with people.
Curiosity takes you out of the “judgment” mind frame (“Do I like this person?” or “Do they like me?”) and into a “learner” mind frame (“What’s this person about?” or “What makes them tick?”)
With curiosity, you become a better observer, listener, and learner. It becomes a deep drive of yours to find out more about the other person on a deeper level.
Because people are complex, and sometimes you need to look beyond first impressions and stereotypes (of all kinds) in order to discover that someone’s real personality and depth.
We often can’t truly know a person until we have a meaningful one-to-one (heart-to-heart) conversation with them.
When you become more interested in others, it doesn’t only benefit your relationships, but your self-improvement as a whole.
Having a diverse group of friends makes you a more dynamic person overall, because each person brings out a different side of you.
The more people you know, the more you know, especially when you connect with people who have very different interests, talents, and past experiences than you.
The next time you meet someone who is radically different than you, consider it a wonderful opportunity to learn something new.
Ultimately, the more people you interact with, the more you learn about the world and the richer your personality will be. So by being more interested in people, you simultaneously become more well-rounded and likable.
Find Role Models Who Are Super Social
As someone who isn’t a naturally social person, one helpful way for me to change my attitude was to find “role models” who already had the traits I wanted to cultivate in myself.
Do you know anyone in your life who has the “Be Interested in Everyone” mindset?
Make a list of your “role models” and continue to add to it as you discover new people. They could be people you know in real life, or even historical figures, celebrities, or fictional characters.
A few examples I’ve found of individuals who embody the “Be Interested in Everyone” mindset include…
- Dalai Lama. He has a special type of charisma and positivity that he seems to bring with him into every conversation.
- Gary Vee. Super social. Always reaching out, making himself available, and connecting with everyone.
- Justin W. My friend Justin always initiates a conversation if he wants to have it. He doesn’t second-guess, he just follows his curiosity.
- Grandpa. My grandpa is another great example of a pro-social personality. He seems to make friends wherever he goes and always has a very likable personality.
- Teddy Roosevelt. I recently read his biography and he had a super curious, hyper social attitude toward everyone he crossed paths with, which undoubtedly contributed to him becoming President.
This is a diverse list but I wanted to give you an idea of what type of role models you can choose.
The “Be Interested in Everyone” can manifest itself in many different ways. Your version of it may look very different than someone else’s.
But we can still learn by observing others and seeing what we can apply from them into our own lives.
All of these people have one thing in common: they place a tremendous value on genuine human connection.
A Social Challenge
Now let’s see if we can put this attitude in practice.
I challenge you to initiate one interaction every day for an entire week.
It could be anything…saying “hi” to the mailman, asking a neighbor how hey are doing, giving a stranger a compliment, asking someone for a small favor, etc.
The basic idea behind these tiny interactions is to start working out your “social muscles.”
I know it doesn’t come easy to everyone, but make a small challenge to yourself and see how you do.
We often need to go outside of our “comfort zone” every now and then to grow and improve ourselves. Even if it’s just super small ways.
You don’t need any “reason” to connect with people – you can connect just for the sake of connecting. That’s what humans do.
Enter your email to stay updated on new articles in self improvement: