Okay, so you have an idea, or an aspiration, or a goal. That is why you are here, right? That is why you read blog after blog, book after book, telling you how you can improve yourself or achieve the life you “really want.”
I don’t have all these answers. I’m not you. And I’m not omniscient or all-knowing. But I can point you in some helpful directions. I can also try to steer you away from not-so-helpful directions. And that is what I want to focus on in this post.
You see, we all want to go somewhere. We all want to achieve something. Maybe we want to start a business, become a professional musician, athlete, or artist. Or maybe we want a career change, or to find a life partner, or just be more happy.
These are all worthy goals. But how many people do you think actually achieve them?
Probably very few. Why? Because they wouldn’t be valuable if they were so easily obtainable. Let me repeat that in another way: our goals wouldn’t be worthy goals if they were given away for free.
So what does this mean? It means our goals take work. And it means there is a high risk of failure. Chances are you are going to fail. That’s not a pretty or uplifting thing to hear, but that’s reality.
So let’s become more aware of some things that might lead to failure, so we can prevent them in the future.
1. You’re looking for a quick fix.
This is the biggest trap there is in the game of life. Everywhere we are being offered magic pills and secret blueprints to success. All we need to do is color in the lines and voila! You’re a fucking superstar. That is, until you actually do everything you are told… and nothing has changed.
ANSWER: What works for someone else may not work for you. All improvement takes time and self-discovery.
2. You’re doing it only for the money.
Money is an innocent thing. It doesn’t have a mind. And it’s not evil. It’s only people that turn it into a devil or deity. The paradoxical thing about money is it is only available to those who don’t really need it. It’s an afterthought. The youngest billionaire Mark Zuckerberg never had any intentions of making money while creating Facebook. He only wanted to make something “cool,” something that people enjoyed. Money came after that.
ANSWER: If your main focus is how to make money, and not how to provide value, you will often find yourself struggling financially.
3. Your self-esteem is too fragile.
There is no path to success without obstacles along the way. Not only will there be troubles to face, but you will need the self-esteem or self-efficacy to overcome those troubles. Self-esteem does not mean artificially boosting your ego, or bragging to your friends, but feeling capable and resourceful during times of uncertainty.
ANSWER: If you don’t feel capable of overcoming a challenge, you are already setting yourself up for failure. Watch out for self-talk like, “I want to but I can’t.”
4. You didn’t define your values.
Have you ever tried to achieve a goal without really knowing what the goal was? Maybe you had a “rough idea” or you thought “Why not take a shot in the dark and see what happens?” A lot of people go through life without ever defining where they want to go. They expect things to fall in their lap, without ever exercising their free will or self-determination.
ANSWER: When going from Point A to Point B, know what Point B really means.
5. You’re not willing to take risks.
Life is a game of opportunities, choices, and trade-offs. It is about weighing costs and benefits, and deciding which are worth taking. There is no such thing as having all the benefits without any of the costs. We need to exchange value-for-value, and often the more we have to offer the more we have to gain. Yet the more we offer, the more we risk losing.
ANSWER: Calculated risk isn’t only about business, it’s about life. Learn to be a better decision-maker, but understand that the safest route doesn’t always bring you to where you want to go.
6. You don’t want to cooperate with others.
In your head you may have this idea of the “lone genius” or the independent hero who saves the whole world single-handedly. However, in reality, we are all interconnected. There is no such thing as being successful while completely ignoring everyone else.
ANSWER:There will be times where we need to seek advice and help from others. It is nothing to be ashamed about, and it will make you a better person in the end.
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